


Tonight

by shessocold



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Bisexual Character, Bisexuality, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, Gender or Sex Swap, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Smut, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), POV Remus Lupin, Potions Accident, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Temporary Female Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:03:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: Sirius is still himself, just a bit... different.





	Tonight

Remus had not meant to fall asleep. The crack of Apparition startles him awake – it's still dark out, he sees, but barely, the first rays of sunshine filtering into their bedroom from behind the half-closed curtains.

“Is that you, Sirius?” he calls, stifling a yawn. 

“Yeah, it's me,” comes the reply, vaguely annoyed, in Mrs Black's voice. “Sorry about waking you up, Moony. I had a bit of a rough night.” 

** 

“Merlin's beard, you're short,” is the first thing that comes out of Remus' mouth when he enters the sitting room and comes face to face with Sirius. Sirius doesn't take it well. 

“I am not short,” he hisses, looking up at Remus with a slightly murderous look on his beautiful face. He has a point – he's not _short_ , exactly, just shorter than he normally is. He still comes up to Remus' nose, which is tall, all things considered, for a woman. 

_Right._

“So, er, what's the story behind this, Pads?” says Remus, still trying to come to terms with his boyfriend's sudden new appearance. “I thought you were out on Order's business with James.” 

“Oh, I was, all right,” says Sirius, struggling to get his cigarettes out from his pocket – he has hips, now, and the sort of jeans he favours don't allow for anything of the sort. “Surveillance, as a matter of fact. We thought we would disguise ourselves, we though it was a smart move on our part, you know, really throw the Death Eaters off our scent – but fucking Prongs went and botched the potion, it turns out. Just straight-up turned us into women. And now we're stuck like this.” 

“You're _stuck_? What, like, for good?” 

Sirius shakes his head, frowning at the slightly bent cigarette he's finally managed to free from the confinement of his straining jeans. He usually knows better than to smoke inside the flat, but Remus is ready to make an exception, given the circumstances. Sirius puts the cigarette between his lips. 

“Not permanently, no,” he clarifies, his hands too shaky to work the lighter. “But the antidote takes a while to fully brew, so it will be a few days. Oh, bugger this to hell, blasted thing, why won't it work?” 

“Here, let me,” says Remus, and he lights Sirius' cigarette for him. Sirius takes a drag, his whole body relaxing slightly. Remus smiles. “That's a relief about the antidote. I have to say, though – you make for a very fine woman, Pads. Not that I had any doubts.” 

Sirius glares at him, half-hidden inside a cloud of smoke. 

“I look exactly like my mother, actually,” he says, accurately. “Which – and this might come as a surprise to you, I realize – I'm not particularly chuffed about. Ugh, I just want my face back.” 

Remus opts for a diplomatic silence. Man or woman, Sirius always looks the spitting image of his mother – straight eyebrows, sharp nose, proud chin. Beautiful. This version of him has softer, perfectly smooth cheeks, and Remus wonders briefly about how it would feel to run his fingers over them – to run his lips over them. To kiss him and hold his smaller, unfamiliar new body against his own... _get a grip_ , he tells himself, sternly. Something tells him that Sirius wouldn't appreciate. 

Sirius takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“Well,” he says, cupping one of his breasts in an experimental fashion, “at least you're into this sort of thing, right?” 

“Huh?” 

“The tits, the small waist, the... _bits_ ,” explains Sirius, with a wince, gesturing at himself. “You like birds too, don't you? You told me you did. It better be true.” 

Remus grins. 

“I do, yeah. But honestly, Sirius – you're you. You could come home transfigured into a courgette and I'd still be into you.” 

“I bet you would, you pervert. And I know exactly what you'd do with me, too, if it came to that.” 

Remus snorts. 

“I think you're projecting here, Pads.” 

Sirius doesn’t deny the accusation. He puts off his cigarette on the saucer under Remus' cup of tea from the previous night. He's grinning. Remus' heart accelerates. Sirius comes closer, a promising light in his eyes. 

“I think,” he says, standing on his tiptoes, and he puts his arms around Remus' neck, “that I have whatever the equivalent of a hard-on is for a bird.” 

Remus swallows. 

“Oh, do you, now,” he says, his hand on the rather more pronounced curve of Sirius' arse, “and why would that be?” 

Sirius grins. 

“I think it's because I spent the whole night thinking about how I was going to come back to you for a good shag,” he says, kissing Remus' neck, “and now I'm here, and I feel like we should go ahead with the plan.” 

Remus closes his eyes for a second, trying not to let his excitement get ahead of him. 

“Are you sure it's not going to be weird for you?” 

Sirius pulls back. 

“Why would that be weird for me? Do you think it's going to be weird for you? Does it turn you off? Fucking hell, I'm not going to get any, am I?” he says, incensed. “Fucking Prongs, I _knew_ it, he went and ruined my weekend.” 

Remus rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, obviously, I really don't like this version of you at all – which is why I now have, how do you call it, whatever the equivalent of a hard-on is for a bloke,” he says, dryly, placing Sirius' slightly smaller hand over the bulge in his trousers. Sirius moans in appreciation. 

“Well, now I know why people talk about girls 'getting wet',” he says, his face flushed. “It's all slippery inside my pants. Bizarre feeling, really.” 

“Can I, er, have a look?” 

Sirius gets a very pleased smirk on his beautiful face. 

“Have you ever seen one?” he asks, with studied nonchalance, as he works on undoing his jeans. 

Remus grins. 

“Sirius, you've known me since I was eleven. Don't you think I would have told you, and also every last one of our other friends, if I'd ever managed to see a girl naked?” 

Sirius sighs. 

“Ah, but you're full of secrets, you've always been. For all I know, you could have had a proper summer harem back in Yorkshire – you _were_ suspiciously quick on the uptake when we started fooling around...” 

“I've never even held someone else's hand, love,” says Remus, truthfully. “It's always been you, and you alone.” 

“Sure, sure,” says Sirius, in mock disbelief. Remus smiles at him. “Well, here's me. For the next couple of days, at least. Do you want me to take off my t-shirt, too?” 

“Yeah,” says Remus, his mouth dry with desire. “If you want to.” 

Sirius – and it makes sense, because normally he's the most beautiful person Remus has ever seen, and this is merely a different version of him – has an incredibly nice body, lithe and pale and lovely, his legs long and graceful, his hips tantalizing... Remus' gaze wanders to the triangular patch of dark curls that represents the most glaring variation from Sirius' usual appearance. Sirius notices. 

“It's pretty weird to look down and not see anything, yeah,” he says, pausing with his head halfway through the neck of his t-shirt. “I know they have some sort of equivalent hidden somewhere, I wonder if we can figure out how it works exact– _ooh_ ”, he adds, with a moan, when Remus presses the flat of his hand against his clitoris. “Yeah, that's definitely a start. Merlin, that felt nice.” 

Remus takes a deep, steadying breath. 

“Let's go to bed,” he says, in a voice so low that it is almost a growl. “Now.” 

** 

“You weren't joking about being wet,” says Remus, kneeling between Sirius' legs, staring reverently at the glistening folds of his sex. “Pads, I can _smell_ you from here. It's intoxicating. Can I, er, lick you?” 

Sirius looks up at him with the same exact expression he gets every time Remus is about to fuck him, his heavily lidded eyes beautiful in the bright morning sunshine. He opens his legs even wider. 

“For fuck's sake, go ahead. I'm dying to get off.” 

Remus closes his eyes for a second, excitement thrumming in his veins. 

“Fuck, love, I hope I'm decent at this.” 

“There's only one way to find out,” says Sirius, with a grin in his voice, and he pushes Remus' head down.

**Author's Note:**

> Lily is none too bothered about James' failed potion experiment, either.


End file.
